WhyDivorce Happens - 9 Common Behaviors That Lead to Divorce 

Todd Orston (00:06):

Welcome everyone to Divorce Team Radio, sponsored by the divorce and family law firm of Meriwether & Tharp. I'm your host, Todd Orston, and here we're going to learn about divorce, family law, and from time to time, tips on how to save your marriage if it's in the middle of a crisis. If you want to read more about us, you can check us out online at atlantadivorceteam.com. All right, let's get started.

(00:29):

So I want to start today with a basic question. I'm going to call it that. Why does divorce happen? Now that I've asked the question, you're listening and you're probably like, "Well that's not a simple question."

(00:52):

Sounds simple, but when you start thinking about it, it's anything but. Divorce happens for many reasons. A lot of those reasons come up in the context of a divorce.

(01:07):

So how about we start in analyzing that question? And that's going to lead to analyzing the behavior in question. But let's start by looking at how the relationship begins.

(01:24):

Idealistically, I would say love, right? I mean you meet, there is attraction, mutual interest. Friendship turns to love, and a relationship is built on trust and commitment. And marriage, kids, all of that.

(01:46):

So is it fair to say the reason for divorce is there's no more love? It existed, now it doesn't, time for a divorce, like a love gas tank. You're at empty, and therefore it's time.

(02:06):

Well, obviously that's way too simplistic, which means you have to peel back the onion. You have to reflect about your behavior, your spouse's behavior. You peel back the onion, you see love doesn't just go away. Something or things happened during the course of the relationship to affect the couple.

(02:38):

And I will tell you, while many people feel like their situation, including the reasons for a loss of love and a breakdown of the relationship are unique, I can tell you that there are a few common issues that commonly plague relationships. There are a few recurring issues that come up in divorces.

(03:09):

What I'm trying to say is, yes, you are unique, but I mean, come on. There are behaviors that occur that impact relationship, after relationship, after relationship. It comes back. I mean some of the common ones, adultery, things like that. It's not the only case. Happens again and again and again, and it has an impact on the family, impact on a divorce. Therapists, psychologists, other mental health and counseling professionals absolutely see the patterns.

(03:44):

As a divorce attorney, I can tell you we see the patterns too. We see it typically when it's too late for the relationship. If you're trying to fix what's broken, then therapists, and psychologists, and other mental health and counseling professionals, that's who you want to go talk to. Maybe you can avoid having to make the call to me or anyone like me.

(04:12):

So today, I want to talk about the general reasons for a divorce. And in this show, I want to talk about it in the context of identifying the behavior, thinking about how it impacts the relationship, and then thinking about how maybe you can make some changes to avoid having to call me.

(04:38):

The next show, because I don't have enough in one, so the next show is when I want to focus on you have now contacted a divorce attorney, and the behavior that we're talking about today, how is that behavior going to impact a divorce? How could that information be used?

(04:58):

Some situations, it doesn't have any impact, some it could have a significant impact. It just depends, and we're going to talk about that, but not today.

(05:10):

So you might be thinking, "All right Todd, you want to talk about the general reasons. Why is it important to study and understand these common reasons for a divorce?"

(05:21):

I'll answer this way. First and foremost, by understanding behavior that repeatedly causes a breakdown in relationships and marriages, you may be able to avoid the breakdown. It makes me think of an old joke. I was thinking about this earlier. A comedian many of you probably have never heard of, and he was before my time as well, but Henny Youngman incredibly famous, and I'm going to butcher this joke, that's not my thing.

(05:55):

But his joke was that a man goes to a doctor and says, "Doctor, it hurts when I raise my arm like this. What should I do?" Doctor looks at him and says, "Don't raise your arm like that." Like I said, not a good joke teller.

(06:14):

But my meaning is that if you know your behavior will likely cause a problem in your relationship, perhaps you should modify your behavior and not do the thing you know will create the problem or pain.

(06:31):

Second, you need to understand how your contribution to the breakdown, your behavior could impact a divorce and affect divorce strategy. That's show two.

(06:44):

So in this show, I want to discuss some of the issues. We're going to discuss the common behaviors, how they affect relationships, and how you may be able to avoid pitfalls and issues relating to the behavior. And I'm breaking it into nine common categories.

(07:07):

So number one is going to be... And we're going to jump in segment two. Number one is going to be conflict and arguing. I mean, that's when there is a complete breakdown in communication. Number two is going to be poor communication. Those two are related. Maybe I could have swapped them, but there is a difference between poor communication and no communication, because I don't consider the yelling and arguing to be true communication. That's when things have completely broken down. Then there's three, lack of commitment.

(07:58):

Number four, a lack of shared interest. I've seen that repeatedly impact relationships, and sometimes it creates such a divide, that unfortunately when there's no mutual interests, parties lose interest. They look maybe elsewhere, where they might find someone who does share some of their likes, some of their interests. Then we jump into some of the ones that we all know and hear about, read about, whatever, that are clearly impactful.

(08:41):

Number five, infidelity. Another word for adultery. Number six, domestic violence. Number seven, addiction. And that's a very broad term, but I'm going to stop there for the moment. Number eight, contributions to the family. And number nine, financial infidelity.

(09:14):

And let me be very clear, I could probably add another 10 or more of behaviors that come up again and again in the context of a divorce where it's like, "That was the pain point, that was the friction point that broke down the relationship, the ability to communicate, had an impact in so many ways." And here you are now moving forward with a divorce.

(09:42):

But I'm going to stop at those nine, because these things come up again, and again, and again, where parties are sitting in front of me talking about where they were and how things changed, and what actions by the other party affected their relationship and caused them to be at this point where they are now moving to dissolve the marriage.

(10:14):

And I think I can speak for every divorce attorney out there. We don't want this for you. If you can't get back on a healthy track and there's no choice but divorce, then we're here for you. We're going to help you through the process. And I'm not going to go into how you choose attorneys and all that. The point is that we are here, but we want you to try and work on things, identify these issues, and maybe avoid the need to call us.

(10:47):

So when we come back, I'm going to jump in and I'm going to start talking about that. I'm going to sort of link one and two, which is communication and then conflict and arguing. We'll be right back.

Speaker 2 (11:01):

I just wanted to let you know that if you ever wanted to listen to the show live, you can listen at 1:00 A.M. on Monday mornings on WSB, so you can always check us out there as well.

Todd Orston (11:12):

Better than counting sheep, I guess, right?

Speaker 2 (11:14):

That's right.

Todd Orston (11:15):

You can turn on the show and we'll help you fall asleep.

Speaker 2 (11:19):

There you go.

Todd Orston (11:20):

I'll talk very soft.

(11:22):

Welcome back everyone to Divorce Team Radio, a show sponsored by the divorce and family law firm of Meriwether & Tharp. I'm Todd Orston, and if you want to read more about us, you can check us out online at atlantadivorceteam.com. Or if you want to read transcripts or listen to other shows again, you can go back and listen at divorceteamradio.com.

(11:41):

So today, we're sort of digging into that question, why does divorce happen? And I talked about the nine common reasons, the common issues that come up in cases. There could be 20, 100, 1,000 different reasons, but there are some common sort of themes that come up in divorces.

(12:13):

And today's show is about identifying them, and maybe even thinking about things that you can do to try and avoid allowing the behaviors in question to lead you down that path towards a divorce.

(12:31):

The next show is going to be, okay, unfortunately a divorce is going to happen. Now let's talk about how the behavior in question could impact the divorce, how evidence of that behavior could impact your case. But today is about healing, hopefully. Today is about, let's talk about the behavior and why we see case after case, couple after couple struggle with some of these issues, that leads them into kind of a negative dark place.

(13:11):

But as outsiders, we're sitting here and we're thinking, "Could this be avoided? Is there an opportunity to heal?" Is there an opportunity to move beyond that behavior to try and improve, so that maybe you don't need us? And I'm talking about divorce attorneys.

(13:32):

So the first two, which again I'm kind of connecting for obvious reasons are... Let's start with number one, just conflict, argument. So this verbal conflict, we see this all the time, where unfortunately, communication has broken down. And I'm going to get to communication generally in a moment. That's number two.

(14:09):

Conflict in arguing. We see situations where unfortunately it's gotten to the point where it is the only conversation, only communication that occurs. And you don't need me to tell you. You don't need a therapist to tell you that's not healthy, that's not going to help anyone. That's not going to promote a healthy relationship with your spouse.

(14:37):

If the only communication that occurs is at a very high decibel level and there's nothing positive about it, I.E. yelling, well of course the relationship is probably not going to survive.

(14:56):

So as an outsider, I will tell you, I've seen it again and again. And sometimes the arguments are about legitimate concerns, and sometimes it has gotten to the point where the argument is about anything and everything.

(15:16):

So again, is that healthy? No. Is that probably past the time where you should be looking to speak to a professional? Well, I'm going to go so far as to say it's never too late. But if it's to the point where you can't have a calm conversation about anything, then obviously please talk to someone.

(15:49):

But in order to get to even that point, you need to step back, and you need to think in terms of, am I contributing? Is the other party just yelling and screaming at me? Am I contributing to this breakdown in communication? You need to put emotion aside.

(16:14):

Divorce attorneys, at least the ones that I know oftentimes will say to clients that we as divorce attorneys, it's all about out managing that emotion, that we will advise our clients, "You need to put the emotion aside. We need to think of things in a much more common rational way. Emotion cannot dictate your behavior in the divorce."

(16:41):

Well, if we're going to sit here and tell you don't allow emotion to affect your divorce case, well darn skippy, I'm going to tell you that you can't allow this unchecked emotion to impact how you communicate with your spouse on just a day-to-day basis. Yelling, screaming is going to get you nowhere.

(17:01):

So at some point, you do need to step back, identify your behavior. Again, I'm not even going to talk about how failure to do that could impact a divorce case. We'll get to that. But right now, you need to be able to recognize if you're yelling and if the yelling occurs again and again, well, is there a way to avoid it?

(17:29):

Do you just run away? Well, that's not going to heal anything. Can you calmly try and get the other party to understand it's not effective in terms of a way to communicate? And can you maybe get to a point where, "Listen, I'll make all the arrangements." I don't mean me. I'm sort of pretending to be you, but you can say, "I'll make the arrangements. I have found a therapist." "Oh, you don't trust the therapist that I found?" "Fine, find someone. Let's go and let's see if we can't put the emotion aside, and get to the core of what is affecting our ability to communicate."

(18:14):

I have seen it work, truly. I have seen situations where parties have zero ability to communicate. And with the right therapist, the right marriage counselor, they find that way. They find the ability to put the emotion aside.

(18:39):

The way I think of it is there's all this static. That's the anger. And when you're talking at each other, there's all this static, all this buzzing. A good counselor can get rid of it. A good counselor can say, "Hold on one second, let's stop at the buzzing. Let's focus on the core issue. What is bothering you? What is bothering you? Put aside the anger, put aside the name-calling, put aside the finger pointing. Let's get to the heart of where this breakdown is occurring."

(19:19):

And it's painful going through that process. But if you go through it, then you may come out on the other side where you're like, "Huh, all that buzzing. That really wasn't helping us."

(19:38):

So the bottom line is I see this conflict, the arguing, the breakdown in communication to such an extreme point. And absolutely, if you can't control that, then of course your relationship has nowhere to go but towards a divorce.

(20:01):

And I've already been dipping my toe into the general communication pool. A failure to communicate... I have seen cases, parties just don't even talk. I don't know how that's possible. They live in the same home. Maybe they are in separate bedrooms. I've even seen situations where they're like, "No, no, no, we're in the same bedroom. No, we sleep in the marital bedroom. Yeah, we still do that." "Do you talk?" "No, we don't talk." I don't get it. I don't see how it's possible, but it's true.

(20:42):

You can't let it get to that point. Lack of communication, just generally, I'm not even talking about the negative yelling, screaming, I'm talking just a breakdown in the ability to communicate. I can't tell you how many relationships break down and result in divorce simply because of that. If you lose your ability to communicate, if you lose your willingness to communicate, your desire to get back to a point where you can communicate, where you can express your feelings, the other side hears you, they express their feelings. If you can't get to that point where you're communicating like that, then unfortunately there's no direction but down, meaning divorce may be inevitable. All right, enough about communication. When we come back, let's talk about something that comes up again and again, lack of shared interest.

(21:51):

And I get it. I understand opposites attract, and it doesn't mean you have to like everything your spouse likes. But oftentimes, we see where it gets to such a degree, and there's little effort given to try and understand the other's interests, and that causes a breakdown and leads parties towards a divorce. We'll talk about that in a moment.

Speaker 2 (22:18):

Hey everyone, you're listening to our podcast, but you have alternatives, you have choices. You can listen to us live also at 1:00 A.M. on Monday morning on WSB.

(22:29):

If you're enjoying the show, we would love it if you could go rate us in iTunes or wherever you may be listening to it. Give us a five star rating and tell us why you like the show.

Todd Orston (22:39):

Welcome back everyone to Divorce Team Radio. I'm Todd, and this is Divorce Team Radio. And if you want to read more about us, check us out online at atlantadivorceteam.com. If you want to read transcripts or listen to shows, you can find it all at divorceteamradio.com.

(22:58):

Today, I'm digging into that question. Why does divorce happen? And without belaboring the point and repeating myself too much, today is about healing. If anyone is listening, then what I want you to hear is that there are these common behaviors. These common behaviors can result in a breakdown of the relationship, which leads parties towards divorce. I don't want you to get divorced, truly, but it's going to require some soul-searching, it's going to require some self-reflection. It's going to require work by both parties to identify the issues and hopefully avoid these pitfalls, these common pitfalls.

(23:50):

We've talked about communication. When there's a breakdown in communication, when the communication breakdown results in yelling and screaming and communication that is 150% emotional in nature, I will never say therapy is a bad idea. But unfortunately, it can get to the point where maybe it's a little too late.

(24:18):

So we've talked about communication, that therapy can absolutely help to clear the buzz, to clear all that background noise, that emotion, and allow you to communicate the way you once did. The way you did before things sort of went south in terms of anger and other things.

(24:40):

So what do I want to talk about now? I want to talk about lack of shared interest. This comes up also quite often. And what do I mean by that? As I said, there's that whole thing. Opposites attract and one party loves to skydive. The other party loves jigsaw puzzles. Skydiver doesn't like jigsaw puzzles. Jigsaw person doesn't like planes, let alone jumping out of them.

(25:14):

So is the issue the fact that you have interests that don't align with the interests of the other party? Is that really where the breakdown occurs? My opinion? No.

(25:33):

I see plenty of healthy relationships where the parties have differing interests. But I'll tell you the difference between the healthy relationship and the unhealthy one isn't that one likes to skydive and the other one likes to do puzzles. It's the fact that they respect and communicate about, or at least show some level of interest. Maybe not in the behavior, rather the activity, but they show interest. And I'm probably saying this very poorly, but they show interest in the others' interest in that behavior. I'm saying it. I was about to say I like to jump out of planes. I don't.

(26:21):

But let's say I did. If my spouse is constantly looking at me like, "Well, that's stupid, I don't care about that. I don't even want to hear about it, I don't want to talk about that. Let's talk about my jigsaw puzzling. I just did a 3,000 piece." And if my response then is, "I don't care about puzzles, I'm going to go watch a TV show and not listen to you talk about your puzzles," that's where I see the problem come up.

(26:55):

I also see a problem come up when it's fine, going with the same example. One party likes to jump out of planes, the other one likes to sit at a table and do puzzles. That's fine. But when there's a lack of interest to find common ground, I don't mean puzzles while you're jumping out of planes, I mean trying to find other activities that you can share. When the effort to find those common interests goes away, when the effort stops, that's where I see people run into real problems.

(27:44):

So if you walk away with anything, here. It is, don't think you have to jump out of that plane with your spouse just because they like doing it. Don't think you have to do a 10,000 piece puzzle. I don't even know if they make 10,000 piece puzzles. But that's not what I'm saying.

(28:02):

But when they're done with the puzzle and when the other party has safely landed from the jump out of the plane, keep thinking about, what can we do together? A walk, a picnic, whatever. A TV show that you mutually like, something that can keep you connected.

(28:27):

The common behavior that I see that results in divorce is when people stop caring about the interests of the other. So if you just keep that in mind, then you won't lose sight of the fact that this is a partnership. And that means you have to show a level of interest in the interests, desires, whatever habits of your spouse. The minute you start pulling back, pulling away, and showing a level of disinterest that borders on uncaring, then again, don't be surprised when other things start to break down in your relationship.

(29:12):

All right, let's talk about some of the obvious ones. Let's talk about infidelity. I don't need to belabor this point. Obviously in most relationships, infidelity becomes a real problem. Obviously, there are some where maybe there's an understanding. That's not what we're talking about. I'm talking about a violation of that trust.

(29:49):

And I will say to anyone, and I'm not trying to judge anyone, but let's just be honest. It can be seen by many people as the ultimate violation of trust. And unfortunately, it comes up again, and again, and again.

(30:16):

And it's a difficult one to come back from, because therapy can help people communicate. It can help them get back on a path to better communication, and getting along, and all that. But it can't erase history.

(30:32):

So infidelity, it's no different than when I talk to people about any kind of serious behavior. Sometimes, and we're going to talk about it in a moment, addiction. But sometimes it's in the context of addiction where it's like look, you are at that fork in the road, and you have to decide what's more important. The tryst, the adultery, or the affair with this other person other than your spouse, or your relationship with a person that you are married to, that you have committed to.

(31:12):

Because I can tell you, regaining that trust is incredibly difficult. And too many marriages end up in divorce because of that violation. Sometimes it happens immediately, sometimes it takes a little while for people to sort of deal with their emotions and figure out what they want to do, and then it ends up in a divorce.

(31:42):

The same thing goes for domestic violence. And again, not talking about the impact on a case and all the other issues that come along with domestic violence. But domestic violence in any form, you are at that fork. You have to understand. If you are the person who might perpetrate that violence, you have to understand the impact.

(32:14):

I find myself unable to even make the obvious statement of choose not to engage in that behavior. Obviously. And I've seen emotional abuse, I have seen physical abuse, verbal abuse. And this kind of behavior unfortunately happens too often.

(32:38):

And coming back from it, if you've got a temper, if you are doing something, it could be even financial abuse, limiting access to funds, and things of that nature, I can tell you right now, it comes back and bites you. And if you want to have that good healthy relationship with someone, obviously you need to control your own actions. That is the most extreme understatement. But in the context of this show, it's very hard to address, because of course it never should happen in the first place.

(33:16):

When we come back, I'm going to jump into issues with the remaining three; addiction, contributions to the family, and financial Infidelity. We'll be right back.

Speaker 2 (33:32):

I just wanted to let you know that if you ever wanted to listen to this show live, you can listen at 1:00 A.M. on Monday mornings on WSB, so you can always check us out there as well.

Todd Orston (33:43):

Better than counting sheep, I guess, right?

Speaker 2 (33:45):

That's right.

Todd Orston (33:46):

You can turn on the show and we'll help you fall asleep.

Speaker 2 (33:50):

There you go.

Todd Orston (33:50):

I'll talk very soft.

(33:53):

Welcome back everyone to Divorce Team Radio, sponsored by the divorce and family law firm of Meriwether & Tharp. I'm your host, Todd Orston, and if you want to read more about us, check us out at atlantadivorceteam.com. You want to read transcripts or listen to shows, go to divorceteamradio.com.

(34:11):

So we're talking about why divorce happens, and today's show is more about that therapeutic angle, how these behaviors result in breakdowns that result in divorce. Next show is going to be more about, okay, it happened, it led to a divorce. How is that behavior now going to come up? How is evidence of that behavior going to come up and have an impact on the case? Some situations, it may have a big impact, some situations may have no impact. And we're going to go into that next show.

(34:53):

So right now, let's keep going, seven, eight, and nine. Start with addiction. I'm going to build on what I said before when I was talking about domestic violence. I am not downplaying addiction. I am not downplaying the fact that if you are addicted to something, it is an addiction. It's not something you are potentially even choosing to do anymore. It's just something you must do. That's not an excuse, that's not me justifying the behavior. That's me just saying I understand, but get help. This comes up again, and again, and again, addiction to alcohol, drugs, pornography. And again, as much as I want to sort of dip into the impact on a divorce case, I've already promised next show.

(35:53):

So when it comes to addiction, you truly are at that fork. You need to figure out how important the behavior is, versus the relationship you have with a spouse or children and children, because this comes up all the time. And obviously, it has an impact.

(36:25):

The sad thing is sometimes, when it comes to domestic violence, it happens again, and again, and again, and again, and that repeated behavior ultimately results in somebody moving forward to get themselves protection and move forward with a divorce. Sometimes one event and they're seeking help.

(36:44):

Same thing with addiction. You have to understand that if you are the person dealing with that addiction, I have seen people struggle mightily, hoping for a change, fighting to try and get you healthy again. And if it doesn't happen, then there's a lot of pain. So you are at that fork. There is help out there. There are counselors, there are programs, there are treatment centers to help you with issues of addiction.

(37:27):

But addiction, it comes up all the time. You are not alone, and you don't need me to tell you. You don't need this show to communicate to you that if you can't get it under control, if you can't successfully find the treatment necessary to manage the addiction, it's going to have a major impact on your relationship.

(37:59):

My hope and prayer is if you're honest with yourself and you recognize there is a problem, then before you put your spouse in the position where they have no choice but to draw a line in the sand and move to terminate the marriage, that you get yourself some help.

(38:22):

Because I've also seen on the backside of a lot of these cases where people do successfully seek and get help, and they get healthy. If you work at it, it's going to happen. You'll find that help and you'll get to a healthier place. All right, let's talk about eight and nine.

(38:40):

So eight is going to be contributions to the family. I see this complaint come up all the time. And sometimes it's financial, sometimes non-financial. Financial, "I work all day long. My spouse brings in no money. I'm paying all the bills." And that complaint comes up all the time. Sometimes it's reasonable. The other party is just choosing not to work. They are healthy enough, they have ability, they have skill sets, and they are choosing not to work.

(39:19):

"I've been unemployed for the last three years because I can't find a job." Anyway, I'm going to behave. Clearly, if there's no medical or physical limitation, that falls on deaf ears.

(39:37):

So if you are the person who is not working, is not contributing, then you just need to be honest with yourself and question whether or not it's reasonable. And if it does result, if it leads you down a path towards divorce, can you really be surprised?

(39:57):

The flip side is if it's reasonable. I've seen situations where someone is angry, but the other party, let's say has been raising one, two, three, four, or five kids. The family plan was one party works, the other party works to take care of the family.

(40:20):

That goes into the non-financial contributions. I've seen people who are frustrated about, "I'm home with the kids all day, I take care of this, I take care of that. I clean, I whatever. The other side comes back from work, grabs a beer, sits in the lounger, and doesn't lift a finger." So I will tell you obviously, there's a reasonableness factor that needs to be considered.

(40:47):

But at the end of the day, I'm going to tie this back into communication. Is the problem that one party isn't working? Sure it is, sometimes. Is the problem the fact that somebody comes home from work and does nothing, doesn't lift a finger around the house? Absolutely that might be the issue.

(41:12):

But I think the real issue is communication. How can the parties communicate? How can they talk about their frustrations? Communicate about, "Hey look, financially, we're struggling a little bit. I know you're busy at home, but I know you have this skillset. Maybe you can just get a part-time job. Maybe you can help a little bit."

(41:39):

It often comes up where one party doesn't have a lot of other responsibilities, doesn't work, and then there is that high level of spending. And that creates frustration. The other side is, "Yeah, you do work. I get it. But we have a whole bunch of kids, some dogs, maybe a bird or two, and you come back at 5:30, and I've been with the kids, I've helped them with everything. I've been working my fingers to the bone, and you just won't even help me put plates on the table."

(42:14):

So you need to understand that that frustration comes up all the time. And you can either ignore it, or you can try to understand and communicate so that you have and reach an understanding, and you can try and help in some way.

(42:34):

If you don't, don't be surprised, because this kind of behavior creates frustration. And I'm telling you, it becomes a pivotal point in many, many, many divorces.

(42:49):

And that leads me to the final, which is financial infidelity. Irresponsible spending, financial waste. It comes up all the time. Similar to some of these other behaviors, it's easy for me to say don't do it. Be responsible. Don't waste assets. Pretty simplistic. I'll be honest with you, I'm struggling to complicate it.

(43:23):

But in terms of why people divorce, it comes up all the time. And as a divorce attorney, when we start reviewing bank accounts, we start looking at evidence relating to spending, I can tell you right now, it creates a lot of frustration. It has resulted in the filing of too many divorces.

(43:50):

And again, tied into communication. The best advice I can give is, number one, remember that for the person spending, remember that this is a team effort. Understand what your personal finances look like. Talk about spending, and make sure that everyone's being treated fairly. If you can't communicate about the money, if you can't communicate about what should be spent, and the flip side is don't try and control the other party. But if you can't communicate about this, I can tell you it's going to lead you down a darker path.

(44:28):

Well, unfortunately, it's all the time that we have for today. Hopefully this has helped. And again, next show, what I'm going to do is I'm now going to go through these issues, but we're going to hit it from the other side, which is how is this going to impact a divorce if one has to be filed? Thanks for listening.