25Vital Post-Divorce Tips 

Todd Orston (00:07):

Welcome everyone to Divorce Team Radio. I'm your host, Todd Orston, Partner at the Divorce and Family law firm of Meriwether & Tharp. Here you're going to learn about divorce, family law, and from time to time even tips on how to save your marriage if it's in the middle of a crisis. If you want to read more about us, you can always check us out online at atlantadivorceteam.com.

(00:30):

Welcome everyone. And today I want to talk about after a divorce, we've spent a lot of time talking about things you should do before you file, things you should do while the case is pending. And we have also touched on what should you be thinking about after the divorce because that could be just as important if not even more important than what you did during the divorce and leading up to the filing of a divorce. So today's show, 25 Vital Post-Divorce tips, these are things that if you think about them, if you do these things, you're going to position yourself the best way possible to make sure you don't make mistakes that could haunt you for a long, long time.

(01:28):

All right, so let's jump in. Let's get started. Number one, make a post-divorce checklist. That is incredibly important. There are too many people, and we're going to go into this a little bit more. There are too many people that unfortunately they become that ostrich that put the head in the sand and it's sort of like, "Well, I'm done. I'm through it. I don't have to think about these things ever again." And the problem is, unless it's an uncontested case, you keep yours, the other party keeps theirs, you go your separate ways, no children, nothing tying you together, and there are no obligations or rights that you might have pursuant to the terms of an agreement that you need to follow up on, unless that is the case, then you need to have a checklist. By creating a checklist, and this show by the way, is going to help you create that checklist.

(02:36):

I'm not just going to generally, "Create a checklist." And you're like, "All right, Todd, fantastic. What do I put on it?" That's the whole point of the show. I'm going to go through with you what kind of things you need to put into this checklist, things you need to be thinking about at the tail end of that divorce. Meaning once you're through the divorce, everything has been finalized through the courts. What should you be thinking about? What should you be doing to make sure you are protected and that you're not making mistakes, mistakes either by or through your actions or inactions?

(03:18):

So that's number one. Make sure you create a checklist and get organized even if it's not in your nature, even if you're like, I'm not a checklist kind of gal or guy, it's just I don't do that. Start, because I can tell you this, I'm going to say it this way. Attorneys get a lot of work from divorce. We know that. Well, guess where we also get a lot of work from? Post-divorce issues, compliance issues, contempts, failure to do or not do something that was required pursuant to a court order. And that could be purposeful. You knew you had to do it, you didn't do it or I didn't realize that, I didn't realize that's what was in the agreement or that's what was in the order. And you know what the court doesn't care about? Statements like that. "Oh, I didn't realize." So create a checklist, make sure you understand everything and that way you can avoid those mistakes.

(04:36):

All right, number two, make sure the final documents have been filed. I know it sounds kind of obvious, right? I mean, "Well, of course, I'm going to make sure." You would not believe how often I get calls from people where they're like, "Yeah, I thought we were divorced back in 2012. I was about to get married. All these good things are happening for me right now. And all of a sudden I find out that, yeah, I was never divorced. What can I do?" Well, if you have a time machine, go back in time to 2012, make sure everything is done properly. Unfortunately, if it wasn't and it was never filed, if the proper agreement and the proper proposed orders weren't given to the court in order to obtain a final divorce, if those things weren't done, make sure they're done. If you have an attorney, the attorney should be doing that for you. If the attorney or if rather you don't have an attorney, if you are doing this pro se, if you're handling this on your own, then the responsibility is yours.

(06:04):

And let me say this, don't just accept, if you call, email, text the other party and let's say the other party said, "I'll take care of it, don't worry about it." Worry about it. Absolutely worry about it. If they say to you, "Don't worry about it. Got it taken care of, submitted everything, we're divorced." All right, you need the documents, you need a file stamped order and we're going to go into that a little bit further, but just in terms of the first thing you need to do is make sure the case is over and done. That way, all these other tips, all these other post-divorce issues, you can start focusing on those because you know the court issued the order which incorporated the agreement which created the rights and obligations that we're talking about.

(07:07):

And again, that example of 2012, which by the way has happened, I have talked to people about this, I can't go back and look at what was done back then. You're starting from scratch. If you're trying to move on with your life, if you have wonderful plans, a new marriage, you're in that new relationship, that's great and now all of a sudden you have to deal with the drama of, "Honey, I have some news. You know that wedding we have scheduled for two weeks from now, we may have to postpone... Oh, it's something small, like I'm still married to somebody else." So forgive the sarcasm. But again, I've seen it happen. I don't want it to happen to you. So it's as simple as follow up and if they say, "Trust me." Say, "I appreciate it, I do trust you, can you please forward me the documents? And if you can't get them to me, then the good thing is they are public record, they are at the clerk's office in the appropriate court where it was filed and I'll get it from them."

(08:17):

So number three goes exactly to that. Get file stamped copies of all relevant court orders and that's important for a bunch of reasons. Number one, there are entities that may require a file stamped copy and let me explain what I mean by that. When it gets sent to the clerk's office and filed, it's going to be in essence file stamped showing that it was filed with that court. Shows the date, the time, you want that. I don't care if the other party is pro se or if they have an attorney, if they say, "We filed it." Sometimes what will happen is you'll get a non file stamped copy, Hey, this is what we are about to file with the court. Well that's great, but you can't take that non file stamped copy and give that to some other organization or entity that is asking for the court order and just expect them to say, "Oh yeah, okay, well I guess you're telling me this was filed."

(09:31):

And on top of that, other problems have been created. Problems with the fact that you go ahead, you get that copy only to later find out that the copy that was filed, you don't want that to happen. So you want to verify that the copy that was filed with the court is the right copy. You do that by getting the file stamped version. So definitely these few tips, the first ones all have to do with just some basic stuff. Make sure everything was done that was supposed to be done. Make sure everything that was supposed to be filed was filed. Make sure the versions of those documents that were filed are the correct versions. That is, or those are the first steps you can take to make sure what's supposed to be done is done. And you can now move on with some of these other tips we're going to go into in just a moment. I'll be right back.

Speaker 2 (10:33):

I just wanted to let you know that if you ever wanted to listen to the show live, you can listen at 1:00 A.M. on Monday mornings WSB, so you can always check us out there as well.

Todd Orston (10:44):

Better than like counting sheep I guess, right?

Speaker 2 (10:46):

That's right.

Todd Orston (10:47):

You can turn on the show and we'll help you fall asleep.

Speaker 2 (10:51):

There you go.

Todd Orston (10:52):

I'll talk very softly.

(10:56):

Welcome back everyone to Divorce Team Radio, a show sponsored by the Divorce and Family law firm of Meriwether & Tharp. If you want to read more about us, you can always check us out online at atlantadivorceteam.com and if you want to read a transcript of the show or go back and listen to it again, you can find it at divorceteamradio.com.

(11:16):

So today, I'm talking about 25 incredibly important post-divorce tips. All right, we've talked, like I said in the first segment, we have talked at length here about what to do if you're thinking about a divorce. We have talked at length about things you should do while the divorce is pending. These are tips about what should I do after the fact the divorce has been finalized and I have the order in hand or saved online, whatever. What do I need to do to make sure I don't have to go back to court, to make sure I'm not doing something that could get me in trouble, to make sure that the other party is doing everything they are supposed to be doing. That's what we're going over. That's what we're going to talk about in the show.

(12:05):

So we talked in the first segment about making the divorce checklist. We talked about making sure everything is in fact filed, that you have file stamped copies. All right, number four, make sure you understand the terms of the order. I cannot stress this enough because I can tell you right now it is not a proper defense to a court for you to say, "Oh judge, I didn't know or I didn't realize that's what it meant." That's not a defense. Noncompliance with the court order is noncompliance. If you fail to comply with the court order, then unfortunately it is likely the other party today, tomorrow, a week, a month, a year from now is going to file a contempt here in Georgia. We call it an application for citation of contempt. They're going to file that with the court, basically saying to the court that you understood the terms or should have understood the terms and regardless of your knowledge of what the term in question was, you knowingly and willfully violated the terms.

(13:22):

You violated the court order. Basically you're saying to the court judge, "Hey, you told them to do something, they didn't do it, don't look at me. I tried to get them to comply, they didn't listen." Courts don't like that and I've talked about that in the past at length as well. So understand what the terms mean. If you had an attorney, sit down with the attorney, say, "Hey, I know I spent money with you representing me, I need a little bit more time." If they haven't already done it, sit down with the attorney, have them go through paragraph by paragraph and help you come up with this post-divorce checklist. Make sure that they are explaining to you what your rights and what your obligations are. Make sure that they are informing and educating you so that you can do the things that need to be done to protect yourself.

(14:27):

All right, number five, and this goes sort of with that checklist. Make a to-do list based on the checklist. Checklist is basically identifying here are the issues and things that I need to address, the to-do list is based on that checklist, what are my to-dos? I know it sounds like I'm just throwing unnecessary work at you, but if you want to avoid the problems, if you want to make sure you're protected, if you want to make sure that you're complying and sometimes more importantly that the other side is fully complying with the court order, these are things that can help. So create a to-do list if, and we're going to go into of course more of these to-dos, depending on what it is, think about what needs to be done. If an institution needs to be contacted, put it on the to-do list. If an asset needs to be transferred, put it on the to-do list, put the date so that way you are fully complying with all of the terms of the court order and I'm going to keep stressing that word.

(15:45):

This is not a suggestion. We're talking about a court order, black robe, gavel, potential jail, all of those things apply. Non-compliance puts you back in front of that judge potentially and in a compliance kind of situation, it's usually not a good thing. Judges don't like when you don't listen to what they told you to do. So again, do this and hopefully it's going to help you avoid the bigger problems because you're going to understand your rights, you're going to understand your obligations and you'll be able to then manage the list, the checklist properly and appropriately.

(16:33):

Number six, secure professional help. Well, what does that mean? Well, if there are financial issues in your case or even if you just are going to be using a different person, find an accountant. If you're trying to come up with your budget, which is incredibly important, we'll go into that in just a moment. Find a financial planner. If you've got some assets in the divorce, that financial planner is going to be able to help you to manage them, is also going to try and help you make sure that you have an accurate budget. You should have already worked on a budget in the divorce, but that financial planner, that expert is going to be able to give you some assistance. Vital assistance. Well how about therapy? If you need to talk to someone, and I have some shows planned coming up to talk to professionals who are therapists, psychologists who basically work with people going through the divorce, thinking about a divorce, getting over a divorce and there is nothing to be ashamed of and most people at this point understand that, realize that.

(17:51):

But I have to say it, there is nothing wrong, as a matter of fact, the only wrong thing is if you don't get the help that you need. And so I beg you, talk to someone and if it's not the right person, if you don't connect, trust me, there are a lot of fish in the sea, there are a lot of therapists. You can find the right fit. It may take work, but you'll find someone that you can talk to and that can help you get through some of these difficult situations. Doctors the same thing. If you're going to be changing the medical practice that you've been going to, I've heard, "Well, I don't want to go see the same doctor as my ex." Okay, then take steps. Find that doctor.

(18:37):

You don't want to start looking for the first time once there's a medical emergency or a medical issue, start creating those relationships with these experts. You could go to somebody who does accounting or you could have and start to forge a relationship with an accountant. That way you know it's not just a matter of here's some documents, prepare my return. You could do that online. You have somebody that you can go to and say, "Hey, I need your help." And that's what I'm talking about when I say find these professionals to help you.

(19:18):

All right, budget, I'm going to start here, probably bleed into the next segment, but I got to say you need to work on that post-divorce budget. A lot of these to do's are going to be impacted by your budget because I can tell you right now, and you should have done this before the divorce was finalized because really budgeting, that would've impacted certain financial decisions and settlement terms, but you need to look at whatever you may have worked on in the divorce and revise it accordingly. By doing that, by understanding your budget, you can then live within your budget.

(20:08):

I can't tell you how many post-divorce problems I hear about that are really due to the fact that somebody didn't live within their budget because they really didn't understand what their budget was and so they made financial decisions that caused them to not have the money to pay support or put them in dire straits where they're suddenly dipping into assets that were supposed to be transferred to the other side. So get the help of that financial planner of someone that can make sure that when you set that budget it's achievable. It is a real budget based on real expenses, real income, real assets that you have to draw upon and that's going to help you avoid problems. And when we come back, we'll keep hitting some of these questions, but I'm going to talk a little bit more about budgeting.

(21:08):

Hey everyone, you're listening to our podcast, but you have alternatives, you have choices. You can listen to us live also at 1:00 A.M. on Monday morning on WSB.

Speaker 2 (21:19):

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Todd Orston (21:33):

Welcome back everyone to Divorce Team Radio. I'm Todd Orston, your host and Partner at the Divorce and Family law firm of Meriwether & Tharp. If you want to read more about us, you can check us out online at atlantadivorceteam.com and if you want to read a transcript of the show or go back, listen to it again, you can find it at divorceteamradio.com and if you want to listen to the show live, you can listen at 1:00 A.M. on Monday mornings on WSB.

(22:00):

All right, so today we're talking about vital divorce or rather post-divorce tips. Not I'm thinking about it, not I'm in the middle of it, this is, I'm done or at least I think I'm done. What should I be thinking about? And we talked about creating that checklist. We've talked about a bunch of things, getting the right experts involved. Where we left off, I was talking about creating that accurate budget and before I move on, I just want to make sure everyone listening understands how incredibly important I feel it is because your income is what it is, your assets will be what they will be.

(22:53):

And when I say I've seen people get themselves into trouble and have to go into major debt, I mean that and understand there's only so much you can do. In other words, you can't just magically press a button and all of a sudden have more support coming from the other side or assets from the other side. Here in Georgia there is no modification of division of property, you can't. Whatever you got you got, and that's what you're going to have to draw upon to do whatever you want with it. Hopefully if it's in the form of retirement, it can just sit there until the appropriate time and then you have it for your retirement, you're not living within your budget, you're going to start dipping into the retirement assets and other assets that you received because unfortunately you're living beyond your means. So please, please get help or just sit down yourself if you're good with numbers and you believe that you can set the budget for yourself, great, but do it.

(24:03):

All right, so now let's talk about creating journals. Again, you're probably like, oh, Todd, checklists, to-do lists, journals. How about if I write a novel, right? I mean where does it stop? Well, let me now explain what I mean by journals. I'm not talking about a diary, I mean it's kind of like a diary, but I'm not talking about something for you just to put all your deepest thoughts and feelings into, if that helps you, great, do it. I've seen people benefit greatly from keeping a diary. I'm talking about a journal where you can track things that really need to be tracked post-divorce. So for instance, child support. If child support is being paid through child support services, it becomes easier because usually you can go to child support services and say, "Hey, I need a copy of the payment history."

(25:08):

But if not, and quite often it's not, then you need to track it yourself. So when I say journaling, I'm talking about keeping a journal where you are tracking all the payments that you've made. If you're the payor or all the child support that you have received, if you're the payee, if you are the person receiving that child support or alimony, why? Well, for obvious reasons, you have already established your budget. You are depending on that money. You want to make sure the other side is complying with all of those amounts and it's sometimes easy, especially if they're shorting you just a little bit here, a little bit there. It's easy to sort of lose track of basically has everything been paid that was supposed to be paid?

(26:06):

So it's very, very important. Keep a journal to talk or to track rather child support, alimony payments, uncovered expenses. Make sure you are tracking. If you are sending a notice to the other side, "Hey, I incurred this cost, I need you to contribute your share and pay pursuant to the court order." Make sure you're tracking that. If you can and you have some kind of a digital tracking system or digital journal, then you can associate into that file receipts and other things so that if it ever comes up... I can tell you right now when people come to us and they're like, "Hey, non-compliance." It's a... Pardon me, it's a uncovered expense issue. One of the first things we say is, "Okay, prove." You have to prove that A, you made the request and B, what the request was, show that you incurred that cost. If you just go to court and say he didn't do it or she didn't do it, court's going to say, "Well, you didn't prove anything." So by keeping this journal, it makes it so easy if there's a non-compliance issue.

(27:28):

When it comes to exercise of parenting time, the same thing, especially if you think there's going to be non-compliance with the terms of a parenting plan. I mean if you're okay with it, then fine, if it's becoming a problem, you want that journal and that history. I have gotten great results. Being able to walk in front of a judge, dealing with a non-compliance issue and show them a calendar, show them this journal showing didn't exercise, didn't exercise, didn't exercise parenting time, didn't do this, didn't go here, didn't say whatever they were supposed to say or be wherever they were supposed to be. And then when we make the argument, clearly they are not taking parenting seriously, they are not doing what they're supposed to do and we need to modify the existing terms because of that. The court then is just sort of turning the chair and looking at the other party going, "How do you explain this?" So you'll have the evidence at your fingertips to deal with the issue.

(28:32):

And in terms of non-compliance, sometimes the issue is small. Sometimes the non-compliance, it's a small issue and I get that, you don't want to run to court every time there's a small issue, but sometimes you just save them up. One small issue, not enough to file a case. 10, 15, 20, maybe that's enough. And now you have the journal and the information necessary to remember everything that happened and to deal with that non-compliance issue in a way that hopefully leads you to a successful resolution.

(29:15):

All right, number nine, let's talk about name changes, name changes happen part of a divorce. And keep in mind, in Georgia if you want your name changed as part of the divorce, you can go back to your maiden name or a former name very easily as part of the divorce order. You just add some terms into it, very short, very brief and boom, that acts as the name change order. If you don't do it in the divorce, you have to jump through all the other hoops and do a formal legal name change, which again, it's a new court action, but when you deal with the name change, then you have to take steps to contact everyone and that's potentially a lot of work.

(30:03):

Social security administration, DMV for your driver's license. If you have a passport, United States Department of State, travel.state.gov is a great place to start, but you're going to need to deal with, it's not just a matter of, "Hey, I got the order, my name is changed." Well, now you have to do something with that order and you have to notify the correct authorities and institutions that need the information so that things can be changed.

(30:32):

Number 10, verify joint accounts are closed. Bank savings, investment, brokerage, digital currency, retirement. We're going to talk a little bit more about retirement, but if they were supposed to be closed, again, don't just listen to the other side who is confirming that it was. On your to-do list, put down that you're going to contact that bank, you're going to contact that institution, you're going to take steps to verify what was supposed to be done is done. You don't want to wake up a year later and find out that some account was left open or whatever was supposed to be done wasn't.

(31:08):

Number 11, verify financial obligations regarding transfer of assets and payment of debt was done. Again, don't just assume if there was an order where you were supposed to get $5,000 from a certain account, don't just assume that it was done. Or if you were supposed to get an account and in that account was a certain amount of money, don't just assume that that amount of money was left to you. You need to take steps to verify and I would tell you if it's an account that the other party historically had access to, you need to shut that account down, just transfer any assets over into something else. That's the best way to avoid any future problems by limiting or eliminating the other party's access, so other things.

(32:00):

Number 12, change account passwords, please. If they had historically access, you need to make sure they don't have access anymore and sometimes that's an onerous thing. You have to think about all those different accounts, but I'm telling you right now, you don't want them snooping and getting information and you can fix it by simply changing passwords. All right, we'll be right back.

Speaker 2 (32:27):

I just wanted to let you know that if you ever wanted to listen to the show live, you can listen at 1:00 AM on Monday mornings WSB, so you can always check us out there as well.

Todd Orston (32:38):

Better than counting sheep I guess, right?

Speaker 2 (32:40):

That's right.

Todd Orston (32:41):

You can turn on the show and we'll help you fall asleep.

Speaker 2 (32:45):

There you go.

Todd Orston (32:45):

I'll talk very softly.

(32:51):

Welcome back everyone to Divorce Team Radio, a show sponsored by the Divorce and Family law firm of Meriwether & Tharp. If you want to read more about us, check us out online at atlantadivorceteam.com and if you want to read a transcript or go back and listen again, you can find us at divorceteamradio.com. So we're talking about 25 vital tips. I have been long-winded, which it's just not like me, that's sarcasm by the way. And so I'm going to try and get through the remaining as quickly as possible.

(33:23):

So we're talking last about changing account passwords. Well 13, change credit card auto-pay information. If you're like me, there are many, many accounts, online accounts, TV stations, whatever, you name it, you need to get in there and you need to change the information and especially if your card was the one on the account, the other party is keeping that account, you don't want to keep paying for their HBO. And if you have an account and you don't want to just shut down and the other side, they're going to jump in and they're going to change something which could just shut down the account. You need to be proactive. Get in there and call who needs to be called in order to provide the necessary information so that they have credit card information and you also don't want to be incurring debt in that other party's name, that could lead you back to court in the form of some kind of a contempt issue.

(34:24):

Number 14, open new bank accounts. I touched on this a moment ago, but instead of just maintaining an account now, and there's some people, I get it, I've had this account for 15, 20 years, 25 years, and I understand if there are benefits there, I'm not going to sit here and say you must close it. I'm not giving advice like that. But understand the better thing to do if the other party historically had access is just go ahead, open up new accounts, that way you know the other party [inaudible 00:35:03] some real criminal activity, can't access it.

(35:07):

Obtain credit, this is number 15. Obtain credit in your name, start to build up your credit if you don't have. And by closing down the existing accounts and opening up new ones, again, you're going to avoid potential problems where you're using a card and the other side's like, "Hey, you're using that card, which is really in my name. You were just a user, an allowed user." Or on the flip side, it's going to avoid you suddenly getting a bill on a credit card that you thought was yours. And it's like, oh yeah, you didn't realize that you owe X number of thousands of dollars and you look and it's like the other party's been using it. These are all things we've seen. This isn't like, I'm just saying these things and they're not real. We've seen this, we've dealt with it.

(35:52):

All right, 16, transferring of title. If the title is supposed to be transferred to you or if you're supposed to transfer the title, if it's going to you, it's your asset, you want it so that you can do with it as you choose. If you're supposed to transfer it, you don't want to suddenly find yourself having to go to court to look at a judge and explain that. Well, I know they asked numerous times, but I just didn't get around to it because then the court's not going to be happy and well, let's just say, let's just leave it at that. The court's not going to be happy.

(36:28):

Number 17, if there's going to be a home that's being sold, there should be, this falls into that category that the devil's in the detail. There should be terms that relate to a lot of different aspects relating to the sale of the home because let's say the mortgages in your name, does it need to be... Do you need to do something in terms of getting it out of your name? But if it's being sold, really we're not talking about refinance, we're talking about, okay, well if it's going to be sold, is the other party who's living there, are they maintaining it in saleable condition? Are they complying with the requests of the listing agent? Are they doing things to actively promote the sale of the home?

(37:20):

And I can tell you right now, people are usually given some time, let's say it's six months, I've seen a year, selling a home can take time. What you don't want to do is get all the way to the end of that period for you to start saying, "Hey, I don't know if you've been actually cooperating and doing things to proactively promote the sale." You don't want to wait that long. So you want to make sure they're complying and you do that by making sure you are involved to whatever extent you are allowed to be.

(37:56):

Number 18, finalize the QDRO, Qualified Domestic Relations Order relates to qualified accounts like 401 case, their pre-tax accounts. Don't wait. If you haven't already secured the help of an attorney whose primary, if not sole focus is the production of these QDROs, we call them QDROs, then get somebody involved, get it done. I have seen major problems happen where people waited too long and next thing you know they're like, "Hey, was I supposed to transfer or I didn't transfer or I didn't get it transferred to me, my share, only to find out that the same amount of money is no longer in that account. And guess what? Once it's gone, it's gone. So absolutely take steps to immediately get that process started.

(38:48):

All right, get your stuff. Get your stuff. If your stuff's at the other person's home, they are not long-term storage. If you're holding onto the other person's stuff, safeguard it. I've seen a lot of contempt relating to this issue. And again, once it's gone, it's gone. So don't wait. Make sure you take steps to get your things out of the house.

(39:13):

Number 20, insurance, get it, replace it. Health insurance, you have 60 days COBRA, if that's what you're going to be doing. Getting a COBRA policy, but you don't want to go without. So make sure that whatever changes need to happen, deal with the health insurance, the life insurance, even home repair policies. Get that done.

(39:35):

Number 21, contact utility companies. If you're not in the home, you don't want your name on the water bill for that home. If you're staying in the home, you don't want water to be shut off because the other party reaches out, contacts the water company and says, "Yeah, that's not my house anymore." So all of those utilities, you need to contact them, make necessary arrangements and don't just shut it off if the other party is there, try to work with them. Let them know, hey, I'm going to contact on such a date. Go ahead, why don't you reach out and get it changed into your name? And if they don't do it, then that's on them.

(40:13):

All right, children, number 22, most important points here. Make sure you don't ever, ever, ever put the kids in the middle of any disagreements between you and the other parent. Don't unnecessarily involve them because I can tell you right now, if you do, obviously it's bad for them, but it could be bad for you. It could absolutely lead to contempt, it can lead to modifications. You could lose custody rights simply because you have acted inappropriately when it comes to the kids.

(40:44):

Number 23, make sure you're educated about the kids' lives and if you need information from the other party, get it. Doctors, teachers, coaches, you name it. You can't go into a situation where you're no longer under the same roof and just make assumptions that everything's going to get taken care of. You need to be involved. That way, if you ever have to go back to court and the court's like, well, who's the doctor? And you're like, I don't know, someone with a license. All right, who's the teacher? Mrs. Fourth Grade, that's not going to fly. You need to have this information so that you are involved. And journaling, you can show in your journal, "Hey, I went to these meetings. I did what I was supposed to do. I can answer questions about what their needs are and who the people are that are taking care of them."

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Number 24, obtain a co-parenting tool. There are plenty of online co-parenting tools that can help with communication, with scheduling, with cost sharing and tracking. It's going to help you avoid misunderstandings and disagreements and strife. By having these tools, I mean, there's a reason they were invented, why somebody put forth the time and effort because they recognized and they now see how many people can benefit because there are formal tools that can help track these things, these behaviors, and these issues. So look at some of these tools. I can tell you right now, and I'm not naming which ones, but there are tools out there and they will be of immeasurable help.

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Finally, number 25. Change your will. You must, unless you still want anything and everything, God forbid something happens, to go to your former spouse, I'm fairly certain you don't want that to happen. But if that's the will that's in place, sorry. Oh, well. So go ahead, get the will changed, get any of those documents changed. All right. Hopefully these tips are going to help you. Thank you so much for tuning in and listening. I hope this information helps and I look forward to you joining me next time. Thanks so much.