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Someone You Know is Cheating on their Spouse, Should you Intervene?

A few months ago, a story exploded on social media about two sisters who spotted a woman who was apparently cheating on her husband at an Atlanta Braves baseball game. Specifically, these two sisters were sitting in the row behind a married couple. During the game, the sisters witnessed the wife sexting (sending sexually suggestive text messages) to someone other than her husband. Although the woman's husband was sitting next to her at the baseball game, her husband seemed not to notice.

After the sisters discovered what they were observing, the sisters took pictures of some of the messages. Once the game was over, the sisters slipped a note to the husband alerting him to what they observed. Additionally, the sisters provided their phone number, in the event the husband wanted to reach out them to get pictures of the text messages. The husband later contacted the sisters and requested the photos, but after that initial communication, the sisters never heard back from the husband.

After this story began attracting notoriety on social media, many openly questioned whether the sisters overstepped their bounds by alerting the husband to his wife's potential infidelity. Even though it is unknown what impact the sisters' actions had on the marriage, some criticized the sisters for taking actions that could potentially result in the couple's divorce, and others suggested that the sisters should have kept the information to themselves. Although this particular story has a technological twist, it involves a question that many friends and family members grapple with on a regular basis - whether to tell a friend or loved one that their spouse is having an affair.

The decision on whether to intervene is ultimately a personal decision that must be made after much reflection. However, if you are faced with such a conundrum, there are several things you should consider and before taking any action. First, keep in mind that your actions could have a lifelong impact on one or both spouses, especially if the information you provide ultimately leads to the couple's divorce. Second, because any information you provide may have a detrimental impact on the marriage, don't share information unless you sincerely certain of the source. Third, any information regarding potential infidelity should be shared in private, and if there is any history of abuse in the relationship, consider waiting until your loved one is in a position of safety before sharing such information. Finally, if your friend is not interested in your information concerning their spouse's suspected infidelity, don't press it. Individuals process information differently, and not everyone views infidelity as fatal to a marriage. So, be sensitive to friend or family member's response once you have shared your information with them.


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