In part one of our ten part series on how to effectively use mediation, we will examine steps to take to make sure you and your Atlanta divorce lawyer are ready for mediation. This blog will also work if you and your spouse plan on using mediation to settle your case without an Atlanta Divorce lawyer. The first item that we will cover is BEING PREPARED.
Assets & Liabilities - It is essential that both you and your Atlanta divorce lawyer have a clear understanding of exactly what is in the marital state, a complete list of all of the assets and liabilities, current account balances, and current business evaluations, if applicable. Many Atlanta divorce lawyers like to use a "marital balance sheet," or "MBS." This is a sheet (usually prepared in Microsoft Excel) that contains the assets and liabilities of the marriage. It is most helpful when you have documentation to support the numbers on the MBS. Then, if called upon, you can then prove any of the figures.
When you and your spouse do not have a clear picture of your assets and liabilities, respective incomes, needs, and what the custody issues are, mediation and negotiating will be wasted and bad feelings will be fostered because you and your spouse will not be talking about the same thing and you may end up arguing over issues which are really non-issues. Moreover, if you are paying the mediator and your Atlanta divorce lawyer by the hour, it is in your best financial interests to stay focused on mediating the core of your case, not peripheral issues.
Child & Spousal Support - You and your spouse should prepare an accurate budget, normally in the form of a Domestic Relations Financial Affidavit that sets out your basic needs. You should exchange all documents, such as bank and other account statements, pay stubs, tax returns, insurance plans, pension information, etc., that provide a complete picture of you and your spouse's financial situation. This is relatively simple if you and your spouse are W-2 wage earners and own a house and a simple retirement plan.
It can be more difficult if there is significant separate property involved, complex compensation issues (e.g. stock options), or other complicated financial situations. Obviously, if you and your spouse have filed a financial statement recently in which you have signed under oath that all assets and liabilities have been disclosed on the statement, that document should be provided to both of you. If you have a more complicated estate, an Atlanta divorce lawyer can be invaluable, especially since more complicated marital estates are often laden with tax complications.
Providing the other side with this information before meeting can save time, especially if the Atlanta divorce lawyers can agree on the MBS ahead of time. Once the Atlanta divorce lawyers have the same information and can agree on such issues as income, the property at issue, and you and your spouse's net worth, the chances of a successful settlement negotiation are tremendously heightened.
In part two of our ten part series on how to effectively use mediation, we will continue to examine steps to take to make sure you and your Atlanta divorce lawyer are ready for mediation. This blog will also work if you and your spouse plan on using mediation to settle your case without an Atlanta Divorce lawyer. This blog continues on the theme of the last blog, and that is BEING PREPARED. Emotion - Being prepared does not just mean getting a handle on the financial situation. Once you and your Atlanta divorce lawyer are satisfied that you have a complete understanding of you and your spouses' assets and liabilities, you need to prepare yourself emotionally. This can take several forms. Often, you need to discuss your anger or depression with Atlanta divorce lawyer in order to be able to put those feelings aside and negotiate in your own best interest.
You need to be able to swallow your pride and focus on the end result, rather than on your feelings of vindictiveness or pain. You need to be prepared intellectually, regardless of whether your spouse is. This involves listening to your Atlanta divorce lawyer when he or she tells you what a realistic outcome would be in Court. Your Atlanta divorce lawyer is there to honestly assess the case for you so that you understand what might reasonably be won if your Atlanta divorce case went to trial. For example, if you are insistent that you receive alimony, but the facts of the case do not suggest that a court would be sympathetic to such a claim, then it is imperative that your Atlanta divorce lawyer go over this with you before negotiation begins so that, if the other side refuses to pay alimony, you do not feel that you have conceded a valuable right that you would have obtained through litigation.
In part three of our ten part series on how to effectively use mediation in your contested divorce case, we will continue to examine steps to take to make sure you and your Atlanta divorce lawyer are ready for mediation. This blog will also work if you and your spouse plan on using mediation to settle your case without an Atlanta Divorce lawyer. In this blog, we go into a little more detail on the preparation necessary for an effective mediation in a contested divorce case.
Budget Accuracy. As Atlanta divorce lawyers, we find that one of the greatest problems in mediation is "inflated" or "deflated" budgets, which have absolutely no relation to reality or historical spending levels. If budgets represent actual numbers and historical levels of expenditures, mediation has a much greater chance of success. You want to avoid paying your Atlanta divorce lawyer an hourly rate to "haggle" over the accuracy of budget numbers. If you have not been the one who has taken care of the finances during the divorce, make sure that you have requested the information from your spouse to obtain the documents necessary to prepare an accurate budget. If he won't turn them over, your Atlanta divorce lawyer can seek this information through formal discovery.
Have extra copies of all documents. Do not go to mediation with only one copy of a document that you intend to rely upon. Have multiple copies so that everyone can look at the same documents, can make notes on them, and go over those documents in the initial caucus. If you plan on making the extra copies yourself, make sure you tell your Atlanta divorce lawyer ahead of time.
In part five of our ten part series on how to effectively use mediation in your contested divorce case, we will continue to examine steps to take to make sure you and your Atlanta divorce lawyer are ready for mediation. This blog will also work if you and your spouse plan on using mediation to settle your case without an Atlanta Divorce lawyer. In this blog, we go into how to handle yourself at mediation and what usually goes on at mediation.
Mediations typically start with an opening statement by either side. Most of the time, you should have your Atlanta divorce lawyer make the statement to keep it factually accurate and non-inflammatory. It does not do any good to increase the tension at the beginning of mediation. Avoid an opening statement full of vile accusations, conduct issues, and inaccuracies. This has no effect other than to sabotage mediation; when the whole purpose of mediation is to avoid that type of conflict.
After the parties have given opening statements, the mediators tend to meet privately with the parties in what is called a caucus. In the caucus session, the more inflammatory facts can be made known to the mediator; and can be communicated to your spouse in a much more pleasant and less hostile manner by the mediator - rather than the opposing side.