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Cheating Spouse’s Guide to Rebuilding Marriage Post Adultery

You've cheated. You are laden with feelings of guilt and despair, and desperately want to come clean with your spouse. But, you're sure that if you do, your marriage will never be the same, or worse, your spouse will divorce you. So, what do you do? First, realize that your marriage will not be the same. Upon learning of your affair, your spouse will be consumed with your affair. They will want to know who, when and most importantly, why. Second, try your best to be understanding. Your spouse is hurt, confused and feels betrayed, so don't expect an easy resolution. If you want to rebuild your marriage post affair, take a look at the advice outlined below on how to work with your wife/husband to save your marriage after the trauma of an affair.

  • Your spouse will be angry. Grin and bear it. Try your best not to reciprocate with anger.
  • Expect for your spouse to distrust you for a while. Do whatever is in your power to show them you deserve to be trusted. Remember, you have betrayed their trust, and you will have to earn it back.
  • Save your spouse from the details of the affair. Even if they demands that you disclose details of the affair, or details regarding your lover's appearance, resist. The occurrence of the affair has hurt them enough; spare your spouse the trauma of having mental images of your affair replaying in their mind.
  • Apologize, apologize, apologize.
  • Stop the affair. To save your marriage, you will have to be committed. Not only must you be committed to saving it, you must be committed to your spouse as well.

Saving your marriage is possible, but it is going to take a lot of work from both you and your spouse. You both have to want it.


Family Law (general)
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