In this sixth installment of our series concerning engagement and marriage in Georgia, we discuss an occurrence that many newly engaged couples never envision happening until it does - a huge, knockdown, drag out, fight about the wedding.
Of course the engagement period should be a wonderful time during which you and your future spouse become more intimately familiar with one another and with one another's family. However, the engagement period also has the potential to be filed with discussions and decisions concerning very emotional and sensitive topes that may trigger arguments between couples. Although these arguments primarily revolve around decisions concerning the wedding, there are often underlying issues that manifest themselves during discussions about seemingly minor topics. Sometimes, a fight over the guest list is not really a fight over the guest list.
The following is a short compilation of some of the most common pre-marital wedding arguments, and some tips on how couples can resolve and possibly avoid them.
The Guest List
What happens when your family is financing the wedding, but your fiancé's family's guest list continues to grow larger and larger by the day? An argument, specifically, an argument about money. You feel as if your future spouse is not being considerate, but if you protest, you fear your fiancé may resent your desire to limit his guests.
If you find yourself in this situation, try to discuss the merits of your concern in purely economic terms. Break down how much your family's guest list will cost and how much his family's will cost. Then discuss the limits of the budget that has been set and ask your future spouse for advice on how to limit potential costs to fit in the confines of the budget.
Groom Involvement (or lack thereof)
This is an issue that many brides become frustrated about during the engagement period. Many feel as if their future husband does not care about the wedding because he does not actively participate in wedding planning.
If you are a bride and you find yourself having this concern, remember, your interest and your future husband's interests likely do not coincide. Although you may place a premium on coordinating colors and choosing linens, your fiancé may be more interested in music selection or videography. Find out what his interests are and encourage him to take part in planning. Doing so will not only alleviate you of some pre-wedding stress, but will also ensure that your fiancé does not begin to harbor feelings of being left out.
Location, Location, Location
You want to be married Georgia, where you and your beloved met. She wants to be married in South Carolina, where she was born and where her family resides. You both have very strong opinions on the location of the wedding, and cannot seem to come to a resolution. The wedding has to be somewhere, but where? Ask yourself: Is it important for your spouse to have family attend the wedding? Is it possible for her family to travel? What are your motives for your location choice?
If each of you have strong opinions on the matter and also have equally compelling rationales for your location choice, maybe a compromise is in order. Why not have the wedding in South Carolina and a post wedding party in Georgia, or vice versa. This way, each of your desires are met.
Prenuptial Agreements
As Georgia divorce attorneys, we have a great deal of experience with this pre-wedding issue. Many spouses to be, when presented with a prenuptial agreement, or evening response to a discuss regarding a prenuptial agreement wonder: "Why are we planning for divorce when we haven't even finished our wedding planning yet?"
Although this has the potential to be a very sensitive topic, discussing the idea of a prenuptial agreement may in fact be a wonderful opportunity to discuss important financial issues before you get married. As Georgia law requires financial disclosure between the parties at the execution of a prenuptial agreement in order of the agreement to be deemed enforceable in the event the couple does divorce, prenups can actually be an asset to many couples because each will be made fully aware of the others financial circumstances. See Scherer v. Scherer, 249 Ga. 635 (1982).
On the other hand, discussions regarding prenuptial or antenuptial agreements also bring up emotional issues between couples such as feelings that there is a lack of trust or commitment. In many cases such feelings may be unavoidable, regardless of how the topic is framed. However, it is important not to leave this issues unresolved, as doing so may lead to unnecessary contention in the relationship in the future.