Upon divorce, remarriage is often the last thing on a new divorcée's mind. But, there is life after divorce, and that life often includes remarriage. Marriage is a joyous occasion that should be celebrated by all, but sometimes parents with children from former marriages find it difficult to find the best way to inform their children (and their ex-spouses) without ruffling any feathers. Below are a few tips that we hope will help if you are faced with how to tell the kids (and the ex) about your upcoming nuptials.
- If both you and your soon to be spouse have children from prior marriages or prior relationships, be sure to tell your own children separately. This way, your children will feel free to express their true feelings openly without any fear of possibly disappointing or offending your future spouse. This is especially important if your children have previously expressed reservation about you remarrying.
- Tell your kids as soon as feasibly possible. Give them time to get used to the idea. With that being said, make sure that your plans are absolutely certain, before informing our children.
- Make it clear to your children that you value their input and that you will always love them no matter what. This is especially critical for younger children, as they may feel abandoned, ignored or left behind by your focus of attention on your significant other. Be sure to involve your children in the planning if possible; make them feel important, so they are reassured that they feel a part of your new union.
- Seek family counseling. This may help smooth the transition for you, your children and your new spouse.
- Finally, make sure to tell your former spouse, as your new marriage will have a large impact on his or her life because of your continued relationship as co-parents. Be tactful, but also be candid and try to work with your ex to make any necessary modifications to your custody arrangement or parenting plan and to ensure a smooth transition for your children.