In this third installment of Happily Ever After, our series concerning engagement and marriage in Georgia, we discuss what is often a sensitive topic among newlyweds and couples considering marriage: “Who should you go to for advice or for help working through an issue once you are married, your spouse or your parents?”
This is a tough question that leads to contention and sometimes even feelings of resentment between newlywed spouses. Many newlyweds, especially those who are younger have always relied heavily on their parents as confidants, seeking advice on issues such as where to go to school, which job to take and often who to date or who the marry. However, upon marriage, continuing to rely on parents for advice on major life decisions such as this may cause disharmony in your household.
As your spouse, your husband or wife will desire to be your partner, not only in marriage or as parents, but they will desire to be your partner in life as well. Relying more on your spouse as your confidant will not only show him or her that you trust them and value their opinion and advice, but will also strengthen the bond you share as well. On the other hand, continuing to rely on parents for such advice is like being traded from one football team to another, but continually going back to the former coach for advice. Eventually, this will likely lead to feelings of insecurity in your relationship, and will hinder the development of bonds of trust between you and your spouse.
If you are considering marriage in Georgia, take advantage of premarital counseling prior to marriage. Not only will it save you money on your marriage license, such programs may also equip you will the tools necessary to ensure the lines of communication between you and your spouse to be are open and in full effect. For those who are newlywed, below are a few tips that we hope will help you avoid this issue in your relationship.
- Sit down with your new husband or wife and talk about what it means to be a team.
- Listen to your spouse’s desires concerning marital communication and share your desires with your spouse.
- Set healthy boundaries for you as a couple and for your parents, and try your best to abide by those boundaries.
- Consider attending a marriage enrichment class or a class for newlyweds to obtain the tools necessary to build a strong, lasting marriage.