Periodically, there are news stories about children who are “kidnapped” by their parents. Sometimes the parent fails to return the child at the end of his/her visitation time. Other times a parent may flee with the child during a pending divorce or custody battle in fear that he/she will lose custody. Whatever the motivation, a parent’s choice to run away with a child in contravention of a court order (including a standing order in a pending case) usually does not benefit that parent in terms of long term custody and will certainly harm the child emotionally. In a recent case bringing up this very issue, a woman in New Hampshire turned herself in ten years after fleeing with her eight year old daughter during a custody dispute. Fugitive Mom Arrested After Allegedly Kidnapping Daughter, by Associated Press, people.com, November 18, 2014. During a trial in 2004, the mother attempted to prove that her ex-husband had harmed their daughter and, when her attempt failed, she fled with her daughter to Central America.
It is no coincidence that the mother waited ten years – the daughter is now 18 and no longer subject to the family court and/or parental custodial rights. Thus, the only thing that can happen now is the mother can be punished for her actions, and the mother’s lawyer said she is ready to go to trial on her custodial interference charge. The mother said the daughter is safe, though she did not give any information about her whereabouts. Obviously, the father now wants to be reunited with his daughter, but forging a relationship may be difficult. The daughter was 8 when she was taken and, thus, her father knows she was old enough to know what was going on. For that reason, he fears that “she has been told falsehoods and misstatements on the events of her youth.”
Certainly, if you feel that someone is harming your child, you will want to do whatever is necessary to protect him/her. However, if the mother in this case truly felt that the father had harmed their daughter, she should have let the case run it’s course and, if the custody issue did not go her way, she could have consulted with an attorney about the possibility of a motion for new trial or appeal. Taking the law into your own hands is not a good idea when custody is involved. Most times, the offending parent will be punished by way of contempt, or by losing custody altogether. Even if you strongly dislike the other parent, your best hope is to trust the system and trust that the truth will come out.