Many say that communication is the key to maintaining healthy relationships. If this indeed is the case, then maintaining open lanes of communication in your marriage may be the best way to preserve a happy marriage or even save a failing marriage. If you are considering divorce, you may benefit from sharing your feelings with your spouse using a tool known as a divorce prevention notice. Although it may be difficult to communicate your feelings with your spouse, especially if those feelings are negative or involve the possibility of divorce, there is no way that he or she will be able to work with you to solve the issues in your relationship, and hopefully prevent the end of your marriage, if he or she is not aware of your concerns.
Below is a sample divorce prevention notice written by family therapists Bill Doherty and Bob Tures. This example may serve as an excellent starting place for you if you are not sure how to begin to share your concerns with your spouse:
“…I love you, and I have grave worries about our future. I don’t feel I have done a good enough job explaining myself to you when we talk. So when I came across the idea of sending you written notice of my concerns, I decided to send you this letter in hopes that we can save our marriage before it is too late.
I am giving you this written notice that our marriage has serious problems that may lead to separation or divorce. I do not want our marriage to end, and I will work with all my might to preserve it. But I need you to recognize that our marriage is on the brink of divorce and to work with me to save it.
I’m still committed to this marriage, and would like to build a strong foundation for a lifetime of marriage with you. But ignoring issues and problems will probably make them worse. I want to do this hard work with you now, before it’s too late.
There is help available to us, and I want you to get help with me…”
Remember, communication is key. If you are considering divorce, but wish to save your marriage, communicate your love, commitment and concern to your spouse before it’s too late.
By A. Latrese Martin, Associate Attorney, Meriwether & Tharp, LLC